You’ve been thinking about divorce for a long time, and you’re finally ready to have this conversation with your spouse. Yes, it’s scary. And yes, you may have some concerns about how your spouse will react. Even so, you need to get your feelings into the open as soon as possible.

Here are five steps you can take to ease your stress when asking your spouse for a divorce:

  • Chose an appropriate location and time: For example, it makes sense to ask for a divorce when are alone together and have enough time to have the entire conversation. Conversely, it would not make sense to discuss divorce on your way home after picking up your children from school.
  • Prepare for the conversation: Since you don’t know what will happen, you need to prepare for everything. In addition to knowing what you want to say, prepare for every possible reaction.
  • Don’t shout or become angry: Regardless of how your spouse reacts, remain calm and do your best to keep the conversation on track. If you shout and/or become angry, your spouse is likely to do the same. This often leads to a situation in which you don’t accomplish nearly as much as you wanted, and if this anger continues it could make the divorce itself longer and costlier.
  • Be sure of your decision: Depending on how your spouse feels, they may attempt to talk you out of filing for divorce. If you’ve thought it through and know deep in your heart that it’s the best decision, don’t let your spouse’s emotions change your mind.
  • Don’t worry about the finer details: There’s a time and place to talk about property division, debt division, spousal support, child support and child custody – but this isn’t it. If you discuss these details shortly after asking for a divorce, you’re more likely to move directly into a heated argument.

There is no right or wrong way to ask your spouse for a divorce, so the best thing you can do is prepare accordingly and take the conversation as it comes.

Once your feelings are out in the open, you can file for divorce in Boston and move through the process one step at a time. As long as you understand your legal rights, you’ll always find yourself in position to make informed and confident decisions.

Visit our website for more information on a variety of family law topics in Massachusetts.